Years ago, returning from a yakitoriya I frequented in Shimbashi, I was in the toilet at the JR station, and the guy at the next urinal made what he thought was a complimentary remark about me—or, more precisely, part of me. He must have had bad eyesight. When I ignored him, he continued. When I told him 間に合っている (essentially, “I gave at the office”), he became annoyed, working himself gradually into a mild rage, and ultimately said that we should go to the police box, a move he would soon regret. It was like music to my ears. Here a guy essentially propositions me in the toilet and he wants to take me to the police. Fine, I said. And off we went to the Karasumoriguchi police box (which I believe subsequently morphed into a small soba or ramen shop).
When we got there, the police officer asked us what was up. After I told my story (just as noted above), the fellow prefaced his story with 外人は皆変態だろう？ (All foreigners are pervs, right?). The cop’s reaction was “お前が求めている外人はそうだろうが、この方は整然としているよ” (I imagine the foreigners you’re looking for are, but this guy seems on the up and up.)
I could have kissed the cop but, having gotten him on my side, and considering the nature of this incident, that would probably have been counterproductive to say the least. Then the officer turned to me and said essentially “What shall we do with this guy?”
I need to note that the guy’s business card was sitting right in front of me on the table in the police box. His name and title were clearly visible. He was a mid-level manager at a Japanese company that has many gasoline stations all over Japan. He was on a business trip to Tokyo.
Knowing his vulnerable situation, I simply said that it would probably be best to let the legal system take care of this. The guy surely imagined his career going up in smoke. I can just imagine the excuse he would need to make to explain away a trip to Tokyo for a court appearance, and such cases can involve more than one court appearance. If this happened today, one option would be to out him up the yin-yang on social media. Hang on, he might have actually liked that, especially the getting stuck up his ying with a yang.
He apologized profusely, I agreed not to bring charges, and we left the police box. See what a nice guy I am? Actually, I had no desire to go to court to accuse this lout.
This happened some time in 1984.
時は昭和59年のころであった、ピシッ !!