Category: Japan

Things and observations about Japan, including the Japanese language.

I gave at the office, thank you.

Years ago, returning from a yakitoriya I frequented in Shimbashi, I was in the toilet at the JR station, and the guy at the next urinal made what he thought was a complimentary remark about me—or, more precisely, part of me. He must have had bad eyesight. When I ignored him, he continued. When I told him 間に合っている (essentially, “I gave at the office”), he became annoyed, working himself gradually into a mild rage, and ultimately said that we should go to the police box, a move he would soon regret. It was like music to my ears. Here a guy essentially propositions me in the toilet and he wants to take me to the police. Fine, I said. And off we went to the Karasumoriguchi police box (which I believe subsequently morphed into a small soba or ramen shop).

When we got there, the police officer asked us what was up. After I told my story (just as noted above), the fellow prefaced his story with 外人は皆変態だろう？ (All foreigners are pervs, right?). The cop’s reaction was “お前が求めている外人はそうだろうが、この方は整然としているよ” (I imagine the foreigners you’re looking for are, but this guy seems on the up and up.)

I could have kissed the cop but, having gotten him on my side, and considering the nature of this incident, that would probably have been counterproductive to say the least. Then the officer turned to me and said essentially “What shall we do with this guy?”

I need to note that the guy’s business card was sitting right in front of me on the table in the police box. His name and title were clearly visible. He was a mid-level manager at a Japanese company that has many gasoline stations all over Japan. He was on a business trip to Tokyo.

Knowing his vulnerable situation, I simply said that it would probably be best to let the legal system take care of this. The guy surely imagined his career going up in smoke. I can just imagine the excuse he would need to make to explain away a trip to Tokyo for a court appearance, and such cases can involve more than one court appearance. If this happened today, one option would be to out him up the yin-yang on social media. Hang on, he might have actually liked that, especially the getting stuck up his ying with a yang.

He apologized profusely, I agreed not to bring charges, and we left the police box. See what a nice guy I am? Actually, I had no desire to go to court to accuse this lout.

This happened some time in 1984.

時は昭和59年のころであった、ピシッ !!

Entitled Foreigners Looking into Japan from the Outside

It appears that Japan is going to require or is considering requiring applicants for some specific type of working residence status to have passed JLPT level N2.

This has numerous foreigners up in arms and vociferous about this move. How dare Japan discriminate against foreigners, some are saying. Some of these people are in Japan already and might not have checked their foreigner entitlement at the door when they entered; other wannabe disgruntled foreigners on the outside looking in, hoping to make it to Japan so they can pursue the sushi dream or ramen ecstasy that will bring them.

It appears that the visa status in question is Engineer/Humanities/ International Services (EHI), and that it has been abused by people who acquired that status, but took jobs that did not fall under (but were “below,” the platitude of 職業に貴賤はない aside) the permitted categories.

That abuse aside, if you’re going to work in a company in Japan and have a real job, which is just about a given if you want the government to allow you to live here, do you expect that it is acceptable to be illiterate, deaf, and dumb in Japanese? Foreign companies that operate in English aside, Japanese companies are made up of mostly Japanese people who—surprise!—communicate in Japanese and are not required to be able to interact with a non-Japanese in a foreign language.

These entitled foreigners need to get real, and discard their entitlement. The people complaining are not likely the usual Nishi-Azabu tribe, who work in foreign companies and have a crew of expensive English-speaking subordinates or a company-hired interpreter following them around all day. Rather, they are more likely foreigners who dearly want to live in Japan, but don’t want to “be” in Japan. If they succeed at getting the vaunted EHI visa, they will probably get their wish, at which point they can start complaining about being harassed by the police or refused entry to a bar.

焼パンダ, anyone?

In the continuing kerfuffle between Japan and China, it appears that China, in a new demonstration of arrogance and childish behavior, has now announced that it will not be loaning pandas to Japan.

I have long wondered whether Japan couldn’t breed its own pandas, and at this point in the disturbance (regarding Japan’s view of a potential attack of Taiwan by China), I’m wondering whether Japan shouldn’t just start trying to breed pandas itself.

If they could do it economically, it might provide a good source of food for a new range of shops that feature tasty 焼パンダ.